Coffee Anybody?

"Drink anyone?" piped up my voice
To a sea of "Coffee"s and "Tea"s
Instant shite gives instant choice
Just like the lavatory.

Without a care I dished 'em out
To a sea of "grunt" and "thanks"
Then back from minor runabout
To computer, and going blank.

Many a time then I was asked
If a drink would ease my yawning
"Yes" I said, oh what an arse
But light would soon be dawning.

I vaguely heard a comment made -
"He takes but doesn't give;
Three drinks he's made in this decade -
He doesn't deserve to live!"

I briefly thought it was a joke
But turned to angry faces
"And when he does" as I awoke -
"The cups go in the wrong places."

"And he serves decaff without milk -
You're guilty, I'm afraid."
And then one smiled, as smooth as silk;
Brought forth a gleaming blade.

Judgment falls on those that do
not pull their weight with the drinks run.
Summary death by peers for you -
Look sharp; to the drinks machine - RUN!