Rollershatner

When I'm eighty something
I want to be round and shiny
like William Shatner.

I want to look back at my life
And laugh it off and carry right on;
Reinvent my persona
And just accept that I'm
Getting a little bit fatner.
A bit like Billyo Shatner. 

I want to be known for one thing
And then do something else.
Shit on sensibilities accidentally
And wipe people off apologetically
And suggest they really shouldn't stand behind me.
At eighty encepresis is to be expected.
So don't get over - vexed. 

Oh, I am and never will be William Shatner. 
Oh, I will never try, like swimming with dolphins, to be a brown hatner.
And I may never be brave and give golden showers
To say I have pissed and Shat'n'er.

But I want to be seen as nuts and mad as a hatner.
That time I got drunk, did a lapdance and shat'n'er.
Did I do that one already?

So let's get pissed and dance on the graves of our forebears.
That's four stuffed toys and a vibrator on a gravestone to all o y'er.
Oh and drop your kegs, say Hi to Granny, Oops I've Shat'n'er.
That's not good unless of course she was Maggie Thatch'n'er.

But then she just fucked us up the ass, went senile, and wondered why on no sleep.
Well that's easily explained by how much she enjoyed fucking all you sheep.

Oh people, if you want a God, you can do much worse than Shatner.
Sing songs, flit galaxies, legally laugh all the way to the awards.

Plough life like an untilled field 'til you drop.
The Shatner, it never ever ever ever stops.